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i love the concept of dirk smoking weed but only under really specific circumstances like impulsive shotgunning from dave 4/5ths of the way through a slow burn h/c dirkdave fic the likes of which ive never seen, sadly

kyuutier:

kyuutier:

MMMM SAME. it’s not like i hc dirk as some obnoxious hard-edged asshole (nor john), i just absolutely cannot see him as the type of person who ditches responsibility or dumbs down his personality to get high. it’s stupid. every headcanon that group comes up with about ‘weed gays’ dirkjohn approaches the situation in which either of those characters would actually do drugs from the complete fucking wrong angle.

also *hell yeah* i love older brother dirk getting influenced by dave to try things he’s usually pretty strongly against, because dave can get him to do anything just by smirking at him the right way.

suitablyerotic:

oh fuck oh fuck, an author in another fandom i follow just posted something that reminded me of one of my favorite kink scenarios for dirk.

I really like the idea of him being into dollification, but not like the “sissification” (i hate that word) or appearance transformation aspects that are normally associated with it.

I guess this is something that would mix well with consensual drugging.

Dirk is such an active person that being turned into an object where his sole purpose is to be manipulated and played with to his owner’s standards and satisfaction could be a huge relief for him.

Dirk and his partner agreeing to have a scene and when his partner comes to find him, he’s doing his best to sit still in his place, limbs splayed just so to affect the right kind of uncanny valley lifelessness. His owner dressing him up and spending time arranging his hair or cutting his nails. Doing all of these self-care tasks for Dirk that Dirk normally neglects until it becomes a necessity,

Dirk’s owner bringing Dirk to the bathroom with minimal help from him in order to wash and shave him.

Sometimes their play is sexual and sometimes it’s not.

Dirk’s owner opening his ass with slick fingers while Dirk tries to stay still and silent. He’s hard and dripping between his legs but dolls don’t feel pleasure so when his owner uses him and comes inside him, Dirk doesn’t get anything. Sometimes his owner is good and cleans him up afterwards but sometimes they’re as lazy as a real kid with their toys and just leave him where they left him.

Either way, Dirk most certainly doesn’t get  off. 8)

mortior:

Nnh I scrolled through this beautiful kink blog (@suitablyerotic) and hello Davesprite and egg-laying and Stridercest, this has re-awakened all the kinks I thought were dormant since last year, just drag me straight to hell and back, go d  d amn I forgot how much I love Davesprite.

Like what if he got prototyped with a female crow, and having that artificially blended anatomy makes everything inside of him all screwed up, so when his female hybrid parts start producing eggs, he uneventfully pushes most of them out with mild confusion and disgust, but then the last one gets stuck, and he quickly finds out that egg binding is a serious medical emergency in birds, and there’s only one member of their little alpha-beta group who has enough knowledge and know-how about bird anatomy to help him, and that’s the kid who spent his entire young life on earth living with seagulls.

So Dirk takes one look at him, and whips out his own supply of (multi-purpose) lubricant, and tells Davesprite to sit down on top of his workbench/desk so he can pull up a chair and get to work. At first Davesprite is in too much pain and too embarrassed to think about it – just clenching his teeth at Dirk’s cold lube-slick fingers spreading the lips of his cloaca apart and probing inside, but soon there’s another sensation just beneath the pain, and it makes him breathe harder and his orange tail curl as Dirk keeps pushing in further and reassuring him with “I know it hurts, just hold still,” and Davesprite is desperately trying not to struggle, because that is not the problem at all, and the feeling of Dirk’s skillful, dexterous fingers rubbing those sensitive inner walls and kneading into those soft folds is too much for him to take, while meanwhile Dirk is totally focused on working his way around the oversized egg. 

Davesprite’s self-control is slipping, and he’s trying his very hardest to hold still and not utterly humiliate himself in front of his brother, but Dirk is still mistaking his trembling and twitching and urgent whispers of “fucking hurry up, god damn it” for signs of pain, when really it’s because Davesprite can feel the inevitable orgasm coiling in his stomach like a twisting spring, and Dirk almost has the egg un-stuck, so he’s ignoring him and massaging harder, and pushing his fingers in deeper, and Davesprite suddenly can’t stop himself from shaking and doubling over and curling around Dirk’s arm, and Dirk sure as hell notices the rhythmic spasms and Davesprite’s open-mouthed gasps as he shamefully orgasms with Dirk’s fingers inside of him.

Dirk pointedly refrains from commenting on it and manages to get the egg out afterwards (turns out the orgasm actually loosened things up in there).

Had a thought about Mercy getting zarya to hold hanzo down and fucking him with a strap on while mercy is in the corner giggling and embarrassed even tho she set everything up. Eventually she gets brave enough to hop on his chest and rub herself against his tiddy

cyberrat:

okay. Okay. Fuck. I need to sit the fuck down before I hurt myself.

I don’t… I don’t even…

is this in the same universe as Mercy totally badtouching Hanzo and fondling him to her heart’s content? Is this another AU? It probably is if she’s embarrassed like that. I don’t even know. I don’t even care.  I neeeed thisssss.

“This is not the best you can do. I refuse to believe it.”

Zarya’s hands are on Hanzo’s shoulders, biceps bulging as she presses him down more firmly; slamming him into the examination table when he manages to push up a few centimeters.

Hanzo’s face is sweaty, inky hair sticking to his cheeks as he looks up at his opponent with glistening eyes. His teeth are bared in a growl, body trying to utilize the missing of his prosthetics to twist away from the woman like an eel.

Zarya laughs in his face – not unfriendly, just happy. Sweat is rolling down her temples; the only sign that this is even taxing her.

They both can hear the breathless, excited giggling in the corner and ignore it.

“This is your best, is it not?” The big woman purrs, a smug grin on her face. Hanzo stops clawing at her arms in favor of just lying there and staring up. He is panting, chest heaving and the long muscles in his muscular thighs trembling. He’s been fighting against Zarya’s hold for a while now, and his earlier angry shouting and threats had given way to breathless panting and then almost begrudging respect.

Mercy took a step closer, hands pressed against her mouth, trying to stifle her giggle. Her face was feeling like it was burning up. She couldn’t believe that her little ploy had actually worked. She couldn’t believe that they were tussling in front of her like bobcats; muscular and compact, limbs straining and bodies heaving as they clashed.

“Ridiculous, little man,” Zarya coos, and Mercy watches – breathless – as one big hand slides from Hanzo’s shoulder down to his chest; covering his pec and giving it a good, nice squeeze that quickly devolves into a rude, self-satisfied tugging of his nipple.

The archer strains and groans, mouth falling open just as easily as his thighs do from their desperate clamp around Zarya’s sturdy hips.

He’s capitulating, Mercy realizes with an excited, disbelieving buzz in the back of her head. He’s capitulating and Zarya is taking her spoils; sampling them with relish.

“You wouldn’t… you wouldn’t have won had I had my… my legs,” Hanzo grits out, still gasping for air – and not fighting against Zarya any longer. Her hand stops toying with his nipple in favor of giving the tail of his dragon one last, gentle pet before sliding down… down… 

And suddenly Mercy becomes aware of just how excited Hanzo has gotten. She presses her hands across her hot face, shielding her eyes with childlike embarrassment – the sight of his cock standing proud and gently flexing having jolted her to the core.

She squirms where she stands – can feel the slick slide of her labia as she gets her panties sticky with her excitement.

“Ah… I think… yes. Be a good boy, archer. Get them wet for me, will you?”

Her fingers part and she peeks out, staring at the sight of Hanzo eagerly sucking in two thick fingers, eyes closed and cheeks flushed a dark red. Mercy can… god, she can see his tongue eagerly dipping out between the digits – getting them liberally wet for the woman still holding him down with one arm, tattoos bulging with the flex of her muscles.

“To the victor go the spoils,” Zarya purrs when she pulls her hand away, the tips of her fingers connected to Hanzo’s lower lip for just a second longer before the string of saliva breaks.

Mercy feels like she is about to combust in her scrubs when she watches Zarya ignore Hanzo’s cock in favor of sliding lower.

God… god… she’d never thought… she’d never imagined…

She watched, breathlessly, as Hanzo’s thighs started quivering, the short stumps beneath his knees restlessly moving and giving her a play-by-play of when exactly he got breached.

“Not weak here, are you? Gripping me so tight… you train these muscles often, archer?” 

There’s a sly grin on Zarya’s that Mercy wants to lick off. She can’t bring herself to move even an inch.

How to win a play-fight when your sub is physically stronger than you:

asexual-domme:

  • My go-to tactic: kiss them until they go weak and they forget you’re fighting.
  • Become overly affectionate, and once they think they’ve won, roll on top of them and pin them.
  • Have handcuffs and the like ready to grab and spring on them.
  • Limit your attacks to pain you know they like. Scratch and pinch and slap in the places they can’t help but enjoy. A good hard spank and some subs will buckle and drop instinctively.
  • Don’t fear a good old hair grab. Especially because it gives you access to vulnerable neck.
  • Detailing exactly what you will do to them when you win – and that’s not if, that’s when – will lower any sub’s morale considerably.
  • If they’re pushing an arm or leg down, pulling down yourself, faster, often pulls out of their grip.
  • Wriggle. Especially wriggle into them.
  • Use all your limbs. Lock your legs around them as well as your arms. Don’t be afraid to squeeze – you’ve got a safeword.
  • Are they ticklish? You know the score.
  • Bite. Everything.